Sexy Colognes, Part One: Sex Appeal for Men

Sexual attraction is very often a major goal of the male cologne-wearing public and many colognes cater to them directly with their very names. These scents tread a thin line between frank sexuality and outright kitsch. But do they smell good? Will women respond to them?

This week, I’m going to test a few sexy colognes on my fiancée, Mira. I’ll give my thoughts, and then I’ll ask her what she thinks.

Day One: Jovan’s Sex Appeal for Men. $16.99 for 4 oz.

This is a cologne Mira bought for me last Christmas, half for the outrageous packaging and half because of a surprisingly favorable review by Tania Sanchez in Perfumes: the A to Z Guide. Sanchez gave it four out of five stars, writing, “It is delightful, a fresh, handsome lavender-and-amber oriental with an affecting, aromatic anisic-woody drydown…”

When I gleefully reviewed it for Fragrant Moments in February, I took particular note of the outrageous ad copy on the blue and mirror-finish box:

Sex Appeal.
Now you don’t have to be born with it.
This provocative stimulating blend of rare spices and herbs was created by man for the sole purpose of attracting woman. At will.
Man can never have too much.

And just in case you throw the box away (I have not), the bottle says:

Splash it on. The more you use, the better.
Because it is truly sex appeal.
(and man can never have too much).
Sex Appeal by Jovan. For the first time in the history of the world…
We bottled it.

Do not splash it on. It is all too easy to use too much.

I applied Sex Appeal sparingly in the morning and questioned Mira about it in the evening:

What do you think? I think it’s soft, which is nice, but it could be bad if you wore too much. If you put too much on it goes from warm and sexy to nauseating and sleazy.

Is it sexy? Is it sexy? [long pause] Yeah, I’d venture to say it’s sexy. It does have an old fashioned quality to it though. It doesn’t smell like current colognes.

That doesn’t sound sexy. No, it feels like 70s disco-era sexy, in as good a way as it could possibly be. It actually smells good.

What does it smell like to you? Oh god, I don’t know. Faintly spicy. It’s warming, so I wouldn’t want to smell it on a hot summer day.

But isn’t sweat sexy? No. Sorry.

But what about if I’m glistening with hot, sexually appealing sweat? Well that’s different.

Tomorrow: Pheromone for Men.

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